Leadership isn’t about having the loudest voice in the room or making the most decisions. After years of building teams and leading complex technical projects, I’ve learned that true leadership is about creating the conditions for others to succeed while staying true to your authentic self.
The Foundation: Know Yourself First
Before you can lead others effectively, you need to understand your own operating system. I’m someone who:
- Thinks out loud - I process complex problems by talking through them
- Values directness over diplomacy - I’d rather have an honest conversation than dance around issues
- Seeks deep understanding - I ask “why” until I truly grasp the root causes
- Believes in earned trust - Respect comes through consistent action, not titles
This self-awareness isn’t just personal development—it’s a leadership superpower. When you know how you work best, you can be intentional about when to lean into your strengths and when to adapt your approach.
The Myth of the Perfect Leader
Early in my career, I thought leadership meant having all the answers and never showing uncertainty. I was wrong.
The best leaders I’ve worked with were the ones who could say:
- “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out together”
- “I made a mistake here—here’s how we fix it”
- “You know this domain better than I do—what do you think?”
Vulnerability isn’t weakness in leadership; it’s authenticity. When you acknowledge what you don’t know, you create space for your team to contribute their expertise. When you admit mistakes, you model the psychological safety you want your team to feel.
Leading Through Questions, Not Commands
Some of my most impactful leadership moments have come not from giving directions, but from asking the right questions:
Instead of: “Here’s what we need to build…” Try: “What problem are we really trying to solve here?”
Instead of: “This approach won’t work…” Try: “What are the trade-offs you’re considering?”
Instead of: “We need to move faster…” Try: “What’s blocking us from shipping this sooner?”
Questions do something commands can’t: they invite thinking. They respect the intelligence of your team while guiding them toward better solutions.
The Art of Disagreement
One of the most valuable skills I’ve developed is learning how to disagree productively. In technical environments, healthy conflict over ideas leads to better outcomes.
Disagree with the idea, never the person. Instead of “That’s wrong,” try “I see it differently—here’s my reasoning…” This creates space for dialogue rather than defensiveness.
Be prepared to change your mind. The goal isn’t to win arguments; it’s to find the best path forward. Some of my best decisions came from initially disagreeing with my team, then being convinced by better evidence.
Make the implicit explicit. When there’s tension in the room, address it directly: “I sense we have different views on this. Let’s talk through where we diverge.”
Building Trust Through Consistency
Trust isn’t built through grand gestures—it’s earned through countless small interactions:
- Follow through on commitments, even minor ones
- Admit when you’re wrong quickly and completely
- Give credit generously and take blame readily
- Be the same person in one-on-ones as you are in leadership meetings
I’ve seen leaders destroy years of trust with a single moment of inconsistency. Your team is always watching, and they remember everything.
The Courage to Make Hard Decisions
Leadership often means making decisions with incomplete information under time pressure. The paralysis that comes from wanting perfect certainty will kill momentum faster than making an imperfect decision quickly.
Set decision-making frameworks in advance. When the stakes are high and emotions are running hot, having a predetermined process helps everyone stay aligned.
Communicate the “why” behind decisions, especially unpopular ones. People can handle bad news; they can’t handle feeling like decisions are arbitrary or secretive.
Take ownership of outcomes. If a decision you made doesn’t work out, own it publicly. If it succeeds, share the credit with your team.
Creating Space for Others to Lead
The best leaders multiply leadership throughout their organizations. This means:
Delegating outcome, not process. Tell people what needs to be achieved and why it matters, then trust them to figure out how.
Creating stretch opportunities. Give team members chances to lead projects slightly beyond their current comfort zone.
Getting out of the way. Sometimes the most powerful thing a leader can do is step back and let others shine.
I’ve found that people don’t leave managers—they leave environments where they can’t grow and contribute meaningfully.
Leadership in Technical Organizations
Leading in tech requires balancing several unique tensions:
Technical depth vs. strategic breadth. You need enough technical credibility to make good decisions, but you can’t get lost in implementation details.
Innovation vs. reliability. Teams want to use cutting-edge technologies, but systems need to stay stable. Great technical leaders help teams find the right balance.
Individual contributors vs. team players. Some of your best engineers might prefer working alone, but complex systems require collaboration. Leadership means creating structures where both can thrive.
The Long Game
Real leadership impact isn’t measured in quarters—it’s measured in years. The systems you build, the people you develop, and the culture you create will outlast any individual project or promotion.
Focus on principles over policies. Policies become outdated; principles endure.
Invest in people’s growth. The engineers you mentor today will become the technical leaders of tomorrow.
Build resilient systems. Create processes and culture that work even when you’re not in the room.
What Leadership Actually Looks Like
True leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room—it’s about making the room smarter.
It’s listening more than you speak. It’s asking better questions than you give answers. It’s creating clarity in ambiguous situations and calm in stressful ones.
Most importantly, it’s being genuinely invested in the success and growth of the people around you. When your team succeeds, you succeed. When they grow, the entire organization becomes stronger.
Leadership is a practice, not a destination. Every interaction is an opportunity to build trust, every decision is a chance to demonstrate your values, and every challenge is a moment to show who you really are.
The goal isn’t to be a perfect leader—it’s to be an authentic one who creates the conditions for others to do their best work.
What does authentic leadership look like in your context? The answer will be uniquely yours, but the foundation remains the same: know yourself, trust your team, and never stop learning.